More than an assessment, not just a 'label'.

The importance of neuroaffirming narrative based Autism and ADHD assessments.

People often ask why I focus so strongly on neuroaffirming autism and ADHD assessments. My answer is typically from the lens of a neuroaffirming psychologist. But if you were to ask me again, the honest answer is: because this is personal.

I grew up in a neurodivergent household — we just didn’t have that language at the time.

At the time, it was just “our family”, colourful, blended and loud. But when I look back now, through everything I know as a psychologist, it all makes sense.

Dinner was rarely one meal. It was different foods for different people. Foods that couldn’t touch. The same comfort meals on repeat. Noodles and chicken featured heavily. What was called fussy was really sensory. We just didn’t know that then.

Keeping bedrooms tidy was a constant source of arguments. Not because we didn’t care, but because starting felt impossible. Cleaning a whole room felt overwhelming, so things disappeared under the bed or in the wardrobe. Why did we always have so many cups up there? From the outside it looked like laziness or defiance. On the inside, it was executive functioning overload.

Homework was another battleground. Some nights nothing happened until panic kicked in and it was suddenly 9pm and due tomorrow. Other times everything was done in one burst on the first night just to get it over with. “Why can’t you just do it the same way each time?” was a familiar question. We didn’t know how to explain that our brains didn’t work like that.

There was a lot of frustration and mismatch in understanding. Things felt harder than they should have been. Emotions went from zero to a hundred. Doors were slammed. Meltdowns and shutdowns happened because there were no words yet for what was going on inside, and no tools for advocating for what we needed.

One of the hardest parts to witness was the bullying. My sister was bullied from kindergarten right through to the workplace. People could tell she was different long before she understood why. She spent 37 years trying to work out why life felt harder, why she didn’t seem to fit into systems that worked for everyone else.

There were no explanations. No framework. Just years of trying harder, masking more, and quietly wondering what was wrong.

Today, my siblings are neurodivergent. And so are their children.

But this time there is a huge shift. Knowledge is power. These kids are growing up with language for their experiences. Emotions are talked about every day. “Dysregulated” is normal dinner-table vocabulary, but let's face it, we rarely eat there. Routines are predictable because people understand nervous systems now.

Parents have advocacy skills, because they actually know what they’re advocating for.

Learning is supported and flexible not forced. Differences are explained, not punished. Support plans exist early, not in response to school suspension.

This is why neuroaffirming assessments matter so much to me.

Not because of a report. Not because of a label.

But because an assessment, when it’s done properly and respectfully, gives families a story that finally makes sense.

It turns “difficult” into “overwhelmed.”“Lazy” into “executive functioning.”“Too sensitive” into “sensory.”“Why are they like this?” into “oh… this is how their brain works.”

It gives children a chance to grow up understanding themselves, instead of spending decades trying to fix themselves.