Recognising Early Signs of Anxiety in Children: A Guide for Parents and Educators

Anxiety is one of the most common emotional challenges children experience, yet it often goes unnoticed in the early stages. It can show up quietly — as tummy aches, avoidance, or perfectionism — and be mistaken for shyness, sensitivity, or “just a phase.”

Recognising anxiety early is key to helping children feel more confident, safe, and supported. The sooner we understand what’s going on beneath the surface, the sooner we can put gentle, effective strategies in place to help.

What Does Anxiety Look Like in Children?

Anxiety in children doesn’t always look the way we expect. Unlike adults, who might describe feeling nervous or overwhelmed, children often show anxiety through behaviours or physical symptoms. These signs are the body’s way of communicating distress, even when a child doesn’t have the words for it.

Early Signs to Look For

Here are some of the most common ways anxiety shows up in school-age children and teens:

1. Physical Complaints Without a Clear Cause

• Recurring stomachaches or headaches

• Feeling sick on school mornings

• Tiredness despite adequate sleep

Children often experience anxiety in their bodies before they’re aware of it in their thoughts. These symptoms are real — they reflect a dysregulated nervous system, not dramatics.

2. Avoidance Behaviours

• Refusing to go to school or social events

• Avoiding class presentations or group work

• Clinging to parents or becoming distressed at drop-off

Avoidance is a natural coping strategy. It tells us the child is trying to protect themselves from something they perceive as unsafe, even if it’s not objectively threatening.

3. Excessive Reassurance-Seeking

• “What if” questions over and over

• Needing to hear things are okay multiple times

• Checking and double-checking with adults

This can be mistaken for being difficult or dramatic. But it’s often a sign that a child is trying to feel secure in a world that feels uncertain or overwhelming.

4. Perfectionism and Self-Criticism

• Meltdowns over small mistakes

• Avoiding tasks unless they’re confident they’ll succeed

• Harsh self-talk: “I’m stupid,” “I always mess things up”

These children often appear capable and driven, but underneath is fear of failure or disappointing others.

5. Irritability, Tantrums, or Anger

• Outbursts over seemingly minor issues

• Sensitivity to changes or transitions

• Difficulty settling at the end of the day

Anxiety doesn’t always look “nervous.” For some kids, it comes out as frustration, defiance, or explosive energy — especially when they’ve held it together all day.

What Triggers Anxiety in Children?

Children may become anxious for many reasons, including:

• High academic or social expectations

• Sensory overload or unpredictable environments

• Big transitions (school changes, family separation, illness)

• Genetic sensitivity or temperament

• Neurodivergence (ADHD, autism, giftedness) that makes the world feel more intense

Sometimes the cause is clear. Other times, anxiety builds over time in small, subtle ways. What matters is tuning in with curiosity and compassion.

When to Seek Professional Support

It’s time to seek support when anxiety:

• Interferes with daily routines (sleep, school, friendships)

• Leads to frequent distress or shutdowns

• Causes your child to avoid things they previously enjoyed

• Feels like it’s growing despite your efforts to help

You don’t need to wait until things feel unmanageable. Early support is gentle, proactive, and helps reduce the risk of long-term anxiety patterns.

How We Support Anxious Children at Thriving Young Minds

At our clinic, we tailor support to the child’s needs and developmental level. This often includes:

• Play-based strategies for younger children to explore emotions safely

• Cognitive and behavioural tools to manage worries and build flexibility

• Values-based approaches (like ACT) that focus on what matters most

• Parent coaching to reduce anxiety cycles at home

• School collaboration to adjust environments and expectations
  

The goal is never to eliminate all anxiety — we all feel it sometimes. The goal is to help the child learn how to respond to their worries in ways that are empowering, flexible, and compassionate.

A Message for Parents and Educators

If you’ve noticed some of the signs listed above, know that you’re not alone — and neither is your child. Many children experience anxiety at some point, and with the right support, they can learn to manage it with confidence.

The earlier we notice it, the easier it is to build helpful patterns that carry into the teenage years and beyond.